©Rudolf N. Nsang
October 7, 2021
1. Introduction
It is amazing how the world was made. More preposterous is how humans are further classified into social strata. Some families happen to be too rich, and some, yet too poor. No one can demystify the reason for all these segmentations. Though, to a greater percentage, it is the choice of every unfortunate family to strive to the top of the world. Better still, it is the choice of one person or a group of family members to change the story of their poor family from dust to glory.
Among many plans that kind of make people look mad and insane in the eyes of the world is the decision to invest in their family. I am not talking about your wife and children; I mean your parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, and even friends, — your big family.
“When you plan to solve your problems by doing the things that work best for you, the world will then see you as mad. At this point, you just need to shake off the dust of what they may say about you and forge ahead with your plans.” Nsang R. Nchanji
Of course, you should take care of yourself; love yourself; get for yourself some costly designer dressings and so on, as your friends may suggest. But, it is a great initiative to decide to invest your all in changing the status of your big family, especially if you come from the poor type. It is a decision made by only a few. In fact, only great leaders do because it involves sacrifice, perseverance, and pain. You need to know these!
Such a decision should be made guardedly, and not callously, though. Because it is a hectic verdict you are placing on your head, and you need to be careful how you go about it. There are many from the poorest families in the world who decided to better their families but ended up needing help. So, you must be careful. How exactly could you go about it? Well, I came up with a few guidelines based on observation and my own experiences.
2. What to do
2.1. Plan
In my judgment, 95% of the world’s population lives daily without planning. People just exist and flow in the direction of the waves of times. Planning gives you an upper hand to lead and control people while leading yourself and solving your ultimate problem. Well, you need to plan according to how you feel. Plan independently and only seek advice from successful people. If you do not plan, the world will lead you.
Draw a plan on a 5-year scale. First things first. Determine what you will do at the start; the next one year; two years; three years; and so on. You may want to start by identifying potential members of your family who may be of help in the accomplishment of your plan come the nearest future. In my case, I identified two of my siblings who were, at the time, both in high school. The two of them were more intelligent and smarter, and they had great interest and love for the family. They were all going to graduate from high school (God made that possible) and have the choice to take on some professional training, learn a skill, or just go to the university. Well, I wanted them to all go to professional schools and study practical subjects that could generate income for them once they finished. In this case, the pieces of training were not to last longer than 3 years. In that way, these two would be able to feed and house themselves, first, and then feed and house other siblings who were yet to be able to take care of themselves. I planned to allocate a good chunk of my savings and income to pay for their fees in professional schools and also purchase for them laptops, books, and some other basic necessities. Nobody ever purchased a laptop in my family except me. That is ridiculous, but I had to break the chain by also getting some for those two through planning. Well, this identification of potential change partners happened at the beginning, but that was just the identification of partners. They would be of help about one year after I took the giant decision to uplift my family from poverty. So, I started by launching the building of our family house, a duplex big enough to host the entire family in times of crisis. That was the first feasible project, and I received a lot of support from my mother, brothers, sisters, and friends.
You do not want to invest your money in things that could wait and be done by someone else. So, planning is the ultimate!
2.2. Be firm
Making an objective plan and executing it requires a lot of humility, modesty, and hard work. Whatever the case, you will not have to rub your hands or prostrate to anyone who appears as a stumbling block. In every family, there exist the good, the bad, and the ugly. Some members are just bent on having the family stay low. If you have decided to lift up your head high, then you have decided to face this caliber of people. It could be your mother or father, or some uncle or brother. It can be anybody. What you need to do first is to present your plan to the family and ask for their support. Then, you will have to be honest but diplomatic, truthful but shrewd, and assiduous but careful.
You may receive threats from some scoundrels or you may just get hocked up by a lot of unhealthy and unjustifiable competitions from some family relations. That is just okay. So, you have to be very firm and determined to make it to the very end of the tunnel. If you get distracted by these popping nuances at any point in your decision, then you must have wasted time trying to get up to that point. Trust yourself and your abilities to shake detractors off your shoulders and trust God with all your heart for guidance, protection, and success. Above all, pray ad infinitum.
2.3. Be the colossus
Effecting a tangible long-lasting change in an entire family is a callous task. Only a colossus can do that. But, who is a colossus in this case? It takes commitment, perseverance, resilience, zeal, and, sometimes, force to get through. I faced a lot of criticism from friends, especially, when I decided to drive my family out of shame. They would wonder why I never went out for gawky drinking parties or bought for myself fancy-swanky dresses and gadgets like my cohorts. In fact, to some, I was either not a normal human being, or I was not normal at all. I lost a good number of friends, and I had to lay some off too, just because I had chosen to save my family. You see, the concept of knowing and accepting our backgrounds come in play here.
Losing friends and being considered abnormal can play quite a great deal on the human psyche, however. Depression may set in if you forget your goal. This is where persistence and resilience bounce to the lamplight. It is hard, very hard, but you have already taken the decision, — hold on to it. The end is what matters most. So, look forward to your goal and take one step at a time.
2.4. Finally, note that you may only be a catalyst, not necessarily the protagonist
As mentioned in the first point, you may identify potential change partners in the family, one of whom may even be more promising than yourself. Maybe this sibling of yours has more positive energy and can be more vigorous and determined than you, but may lack guidance only. Invest in leading this one and your family will still get the touch you want. Do not bother about the person to whom glory will be ascribed at the end of the journey. By the way, your objective is to get your family to the top of the social ladder and not to receive glory for what you have not done. So, your position is indisputable. In my case, I had to lead the change myself. Yours may differ!
In the church today, you will likely hear of the phrase, “Destiny helpers”. These are people who are said to help believers in accomplishing their dreams. It could be a spouse, a friend, a stranger, or even an enemy. Whatever, you may only serve as a destiny helper even though you possess the masterplan. It is known in Greek Philosophy that Socrates taught Plato and then Plato, in turn, tutored Aristotle. Well, these three names are so none today as though they all died in 2010. Aristotle became so renowned that he was hired by King Philip of Macedonia (who was known by the Greek as a barbarian ruler) to educate Alexander his son and heir to the throne. Through the lessons Aristotle learned from his own tutors, Alexander was groomed into a better king who to date has a stamp on the tongues of time. Aristotle tutored him on morality, logic, arts, medicine, and math. It so happened that Alexander the Great effected more viable changes in the Greek kingdom of Macedon than Aristotle could ever have done. Aristotle was a catalyst and till present, the world has not forgotten him. You see, uplifting your family from the dust may only require you to invest in someone else.
3. Conclusion
Be it as it is, the decision to change the status of your family is quite wild and feverish. That is why you need to follow these rules. Read through them over and over, and you will certainly find your way through your decision. I am making my way through, and you could decide to get me involved in your own endeavor. Feel free to contact me directly on rudolfnsang@gmail.com, or just leave a comment and I will get to you.
©Rudolf N. Nsang
October 7, 2021
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